It’s a new year, so they all say. That must be why I found myself digging around in my bright-green Ikea desk like a french pig with a line on a truffle, kicking up dust along with business cards, sticky notes, and errant stamps. Someplace in the melange I uncovered a brief list of funny words Steve and came up with last year. Some of them do harken to earlier years, but most of them are solid 2012 vintage.
Let me preface this list by telling that most of these have been inspired by cats. If you have kids, you will no doubt have similar aha moments when they do something that just defies standard vocabulariar boundaries and demands a new construct. Let me illustrate:
Butzinface – What someone working at their computer in our household is going to wind up with within moments of sitting down to work. Applies most often to Lenny, but can be applied to George.
Farking – Pretty much what it sounds like, right? So it’s a mesh of ‘f*ing’ and ‘larking’ and a bit of ‘malarky’ thrown in, just to mollify our Veep. And because Irish phrases are funny.
Gargolying, Vulching, Hoovering – well these are not new really, so I can’t take credit. Maybe Gargoyling. Our Russian Blue cat, George, looks particularly regal and Gargoyle-y when poised on his haunches on top of the refrig or cabinets, with neck extended.
“Honey, the Varmpires are Calling!” – okay, this one has nothing to do with cats. It refers to the blood bank that has our cell phone numbers and like to abuse them on a regular basis. I like to repeat their messages with a Transylvanian accent, just for fun. “We vant to have yer bluuud!” I know, I know. I will give and I do. But seriously, shop calling on the 61st day after my last donation, will ya?
Snorkeling – what Lenny does with his water dish; he’ll sit and wrap both arms around it, like he’s hugging it.
Marinating – what Lenny will do with his Super Fuzzy Worm (you know, the kind that does ‘amazing tricks!’ on a clear cord that no one can really get to work, but which cats adore). He likes to put it in his water dish, for safe-keeping.
Snizzle, frizzle, and schpool – all the ways that Gracie will drool freely over arms, chairs, and pillows. ew.
Foosy-putting – Take Pussy-Footing and rearrange the first letters. This happens on our countertops when we have all the plants inside and the cats are trying to work their way through them to get to the sink or to the latest chicken dish resting thereon.
Okay, that’s all for now…so I can finally throw away this bookmark I had them all written on. Yeah!